The Loving Lewis Family

The other day I was driving along on and to my amazement I saw the same car each of you are looking at right now. What's the deal with the Lewis Family sticker? (say that in you best Seinfeld voice.) Seriously, what is it supposed to mean when you put a circle with a line on a member of your family? In case you can't see the gender of all of them - from left to right - there is the adult male, a female, and two boys. If you'll notice the female is about the same height as the two boys and she has one of these - around her. I've been trying to figure out what message the driver is trying to get across. Here are some possible meanings:
a) The female was the wife and now they are divorced
b) She died, and/or is possibly one of the undead
c) The driver wants everybody to stay away from her
With the possible exception of letter c, it doesn't make sense to advertise those things in that manner. That is why I've come to the conclusion (after also seeing the scary driver) that he is mentally ill.
If you could enlighten me on this matter it would be much appreciated.

VICTORY!!!

It's about time! Rosie or "Ro" as she calls herself on her blog will finally be ousted from The View. Sure, they all say that the reason why she is leaving is because ABC, Rosie and her agent couldn't agree upon key contractual terms. The one main contract term they are floating around is that The View wanted Rosie to sign a three year contract and Rosie only wanted to sign a one year contract. Does anyone actually believe that? In the words of my wife Tatum, "If The View really wanted her back they would have agreed upon a one year contract." Either this is a cover up story to let Rosie save whatever face she can scrounge up or The View offered contractual terms that they knew she wasn't going to accept. If they really wanted Rosie, they could have signed a one year contract and received whatever benefits they hoped they would gain - for one year. By not signing a one year contract they now receive no benefits from Rosie and only have a month and a half to find a replacement that will need to benefit them at least as much or more than Rosie would have for the next year. My theory is that they have been looking for her replacement and had already found her before the contract negotiations with Rosie began.

Chapter 22: My Encounter With a Midget

I seriously don't know what to think. Throughout the video I was trying to decide whether or not there was some computer aided effects and if that was actually a little toddler or a magical little person. I came to the conclusion that I believe this to be a toddler -although a magical little person would have been just as amazing in my book. As far as the computer aided effects issue goes - There are definitely a few that hold his position still and possibly a few that speed up his moves, but when it comes to anything more than that - I'll let you decide 2005.

Do I look like a senior citizen?

This morning I took a little jaunt to CVS pharmacy (which happens to be located on the fringe of Sun City) to buy some much needed supplies for my wife who is feeling under-the-weather. When I was ready to make the purchase I went up front and had the following conversation with the 68 1/2 year old cashier:

Cashier: Hello
Me: Hi
Cashier: Do you have a CVS card?
Me: No, I don't.
Cashier: Well, why not?
Me: I don't know.
Cashier: Do you live around here? I mean...you're not a snowbird are you?
Me: Nope, I live around here.

A snowbird? Wait a second...I knew I had a few gray hairs but I didn't think they were noticeable to the naked eye. I might shop occasionally in a Sun City store or two but never once did I think I might be misstaken for one of them. I've always had a fear that one day as I shop in a Sun City store all the elderly would point at me while chanting over and over again, "You're not welcome here!" At least I know now that I will be able to shop in peace.

A thief in the night...

Last Sunday evening my home teaching companion and I went to visit a feller that we haven't been able to get a hold of. The number we have on record is for a drug rehab facility - always a good sign. When we stopped by there were about 5 newspapers on the driveway and all the lights in the house were off. We picked up the newspapers and headed to the front door. That's when we noticed the screen for the window next to the door was on the ground and the window was smashed in. Yes, I admit it, I was a little excited to call the cops (I didn't think anything was actually wrong - just the ordinary burglary while someone was on vacation). One cop comes and as soon as he gets out of his car he grabs an AR-15 (at least that's what my companion said it was), loads it, and straps it across his chest. At that moment I was trying to figure out how to tell Tatum that I was joining the police force.

He asked us a few questions and called for backup. When backup arrived they went inside to check the place out. I was waiting to hear gun shots but the burglar was long gone.

When they came back out they asked us about the guy we were trying to visit. They looked him up in their system and said that they didn't think he lived there anymore. They gave us another phone number for him since the one we had was bad. We called the number and to make a long story short, he is coming to church and is getting the priesthood in a couple of Sundays. Alright, Alright - that last part was a lie. The phone number they gave us was just another bad number.

Next week my companion and I will be hitting the Hassell's house in hopes of scoring a new plasma TV.